Cranky

 

Sometimes I get cranky
I can't help it, really
I do things on my own,
Like an odd and lonely soul

I'm told I'm too quirky
But that's the only way for me
I often don't realise
That's not the regular path

I'd love to be normal to do nothing special
I'd love to be banal
To go about my life in an orderly fashion
And to stop asking questions

But I'm trapped in myself 
I am done with pretence
I've never been good at being someone else

I am stuck with this brain
With these thoughts, with those games
The melancholy and the insecurities
And here you are, and I'm all sorted
You're there and everything seems simple again
And here you are and I'm just fine
For as long as you'll give me your time
Sometimes I get cranky
I let things get to me
I'm oversensitive
I've got nothing good to give

It's all too much for me
And I do get angry
The wars, the extreme right
Don't wanna live in a state of fright

I'd love to be useful to do something meaningful
I want to be crucial
To go about my life in a decisive manner
And to get much better at banter

But I'm trapped in myself 
I am done with pretence
I've never been good at being someone else

I am stuck with this brain
With these thoughts, with those games
The melancholy and the insecurities
And here you are, and I'm all sorted
You're there and everything seems simple again
And here you are and I'm just fine
For as long as you'll give me your time
but...
Sometimes you get cranky
And you leave suddenly
Leaving me alone to fight
The challenges of life

I struggle and frankly
It is far from easy
To know you are around
And won't lend me your hand

I know you're struggling too you've got other things to do
Than constantly save me
You've got your own issues I wish I could help you
Be truly happy

But I'm trapped in myself 
I am done with pretense
I've never been good at being someone else

I am stuck with this brain
With these thoughts, with those games
The melancholy and the insecurities
Still here I am with all these flaws
I'm here for you and everything seems simple again
And here I am and you're just fine
For as long as I'll give you my time

via Daily Prompt: Cranky

I don’t want to live this way

I ruminate on the meaning of life
I ruminate on the meaning of love
I ruminate on my jealousy 
On my inconsistencies   

I ruminate on my local pub
I ruminate on friendship 
I ruminate on food, 
I ruminate on fitness   
I ruminate on censorship
I ruminate on sadness 
I ruminate on people around 
On how most are doing their best   

I ruminate on people’s best often not being enough 
I ruminate on Trump, Le Pen and all the others 
I ruminate on skills, on time, on age 
I ruminate on fear, on luck, on hate   

I ruminate on the meaning of things
I ruminate on misunderstandings and the war that might be coming
I ruminate on dreams and realism
I ruminate on life and on what my cat thinks     
But I don’t want to spend my life this way
I would like to stop thinking and fly away
With the man I love, my music and my bike
We would spend our days giving new colours to life!    

But it can’t be stopped yet, 
My brain is always boiling 
With new things to understand 
In the Grand Scheme of things So…    
I ruminate on relationships
I ruminate on my man and
On why finding me seems to
Take him so much time

I ruminate on solitude, on habits, on tap dance 
I ruminate on wilderness, adventure and balance 
I ruminate on how disappointing people often prove to be 
I ruminate on how I can be both full of myself and insecurity 

On who invented sports and 
On why musicals exist 
I ruminate on Tinder 
I ruminate on hipsters   
But I don’t want to spend my life this way
I would like to stop thinking and fly away
With the man I love, my music and my bike
We would spend our days giving new colours to life!

via Daily Prompt: Ruminate

Quadruple Haiku

Doubt is here to stay
I feel it very strongly
Don’t know what to do

Sound Song

Sound. Safe and sound. I only feel safe when there's sound around.
Sound. Safe and sound. It makes me feel less lonely.
Which is why, I always leave the radio on,
and listen on and on and on...
To the news, the news, and some terrible commercial, 
to more news, more news, and a few pop/rock mega hits
to more news, more news, then a comedy show 
then back to news, news, news...
And it is so scary, it makes me feel lonely, it makes me feel weary of others.
And it is so scary, the world's too much for me and I will never leave the house
I crave some silence... but I need sound. Safe and sound. I only feel safe when there's sound around.

via Daily Prompt: Sound